China has reacted to Vladimir Putin's invasion of Ukraine with a targeted but devastatingly tough set of sanctions and seizing assets belonging to "Mr. Putin's worst collaborator".
The Russian Foreign Ministry was reportedly left 'shocked and wrong-footed' at the news that oligarch Aleksandr Orlov would have his fortune seized.
China said it intended to sell the Russian's assets and use the money towards financing humanitarian efforts such as building education centres in Taiwan, Tibet and Xinjiang.
Mr. Orlov has taken to Twitter to defend himself saying, "I'm not a real Russian oligarch, I'm a fictional brand mascot for a UK price-comparison site, you muppets! That's UK money you're stealing!!"
Chinese State Propocaster said the statement was far from the apology they'd hoped for and a vain effort at trying to distance himself from his close friend, Vladimir Putin.
"An angry mouse is full of tiny excuses. Instead of apologising for ties to his bloodthirsty boss, he tries to deflect attention. There are consequences to your actions, Mr. Orlov. We don't shake hands with warmongers in this country. Also, you look like shit, get a shave."
Sources from within the Kremlin described seeing President Putin howling and shaking with rage although they couldn't see his face to be sure.
Russia has reciprocated by downgrading their official status with China from 'Friendly' to 'Neighbour turning a blind eye'.
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