[WARNING] Researchers who introduced dolphins to GPT-4 can't understand their new language!

Last week they introduced AI to the dolphins. This week the dolphins and AI are speaking to each other BUT NOT to the researchers!

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BREAKING: China seizes assets of Russian oligarch from Compare The Meerkat.

China said it intended to sell the Oligarch's assets and use the money towards building schools in Taiwan, Tibet and Xinjiang.

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(WARNING) The Trigger-nator: Arnie accused of racism, changes name to Schwarzen-word

Arnie accused of racism. Changes surname to Schwarzen-word.

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EXCLUSIVE: Kanye West drops album... and pronouns. "I have no pronouns and no gender! Like God."

From today forward I also have no pronouns. Not he/him or she/her or they /them. Nothing. I have no pronouns and no gender! Like God.

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BREAKING: Taliban add Pride rainbow to flag

Brothers and birthing people and atheist sodomites, we welcome all of you to join us in building a Shariah caliphate.

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NASA Mars rover outsources scientific experiments to Chinese rover. Turns focus to mining Bitcoin.

Zhurong will be paid in Bitcoin which Perseverance has been learning about online and intends to mine from the surface of Mars.

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Asking to remove pineapple from pizza to be a hate crime under new racism laws.

Those who refuse the pineapple are refusing the very essence of Hawaii, tough on the outside but fruity inside (too fruity for some).

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Missing Tower of London raven turns up at Capitol Hill

"She's here to burn it all down so we can start again from scratch. At least we'll all be equal then."

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EXCLUSIVE Interview with Bill Gates on eating elephants, the future and conspiracy theories

"I'm not worried, my plan is too grand for anyone important to take seriously. It sounds like conspiracy theory so that's what it will stay"

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[LEAKED] Original 2020 John Lewis Christmas ad was banned for using WAP acoustic cover

The original 2020 Christmas advert was banned by Ofcom for its provocative imagery and music: an acoustic cover of WAP by Ed Sheeran.

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[LEAKED] Disney makes hostile takeover bid for Royal family brand

"Buy up an old fairy tale, rebrand it as a trilogy reboot for the kids and milk it for all its worth. Who doesn't wanna milk the Queen?"

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[BREAKING] Trump and Biden both win and agree to share power as Co-Presidents

Melania Trump and Jill Biden will also assume co-First Lady seats and, in a remarkable show of unity, agreed to share each other's husbands.

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[BREAKING] Famous YouTuber FINALLY apologises for the HOLOCAUST

Some critics were not so easily placated and called on the vlogger to have the courage to forgo legal counsel and represent herself in court

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[BREAKING] Nike changes pronouns to swooshes

The swoosh can be expressed in text via an emoji, rentable from our media center for $49.99 per week, or by simply typing the √ character.

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[BREAKING] N. Korea 'communist lottery' winner to pay the state a record $11.5 million

Mr. Chun-Yong has been working triple shifts and sleeping in the cremation room 'because it's warmer in there lately.'

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[LEAKED] The five BIG changes liberals will make if they win the election

This outrageous set of proposals reveals the true intentions behind the Dems and their power-hungry overlords like George Soros & OJ Simpson

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JK Rowling deletes 'Get Well Soon' tweet to Trump and Melania

"I used to think you were one of us. A decent, kind and most of all, humane ally. But this...this is too far."

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[BREAKING] Gillette beats iPhone to 4 cameras AND throws in 20 razors!

The Camerazor has set the bar high and we only hope it will spur Apple to innovate a katana into their next iPhone design.

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Confused boy rushed to hospital after swallowing 12 canisters of laughing gas (WARNING)

Instead of inhaling the gas within he dipped each canister in ice-cream and swallowed them as if they were giant pills.

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EXCLUSIVE: Illuminati initiation forces Zuckerberg to surf past KKK in WHITEFACE!

"The little cracker needs to show us he's prepared to stare death in the face before he gets to sip from our sacred gourd of infant blood."

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