A new anti-discrimination bill will seek to fine and even imprison people if they discriminate against another's culture, including food culture.
The ultra-left Antifa Party are tabling the Bigot Bill for debate in the House of Commons this week. Leaked documents have shown an example of the type of 'bigoted behaviour' they consider a crime: refusing to eat pizza with pineapple on it.
The bill explains that pizza is an important gastronomic and cultural ingredient for Hawaiians:
When pizza arrived in Hawaii, the locals wanted to add their own flavours like edible flowers, shark and baby lava. Pineapple has always been plentiful on the islands and is liberally added to every food and drink. So it wasn't long before ham & pineapple pizza became the archipelago's signature dish.
The Hawaiian people have infused their zest and tropical lifestyle into this dish and they are inviting you to take part every time a Hawaiian pizza is served. It is like a handshake by the mouth. If you remove the pineapple, you are slapping their friendly brown hand away and spitting in their smiling faces.
Those who refuse the pineapple are refusing the essence of every Hawaiian, tough on the outside but fruity inside (too fruity for some).
Hawaiians offer the best of what they have in spite of the past's vicious colonialism and today's structural racism.
No more! We stand with our Hawaiian brothers and sisters and gender-surfers by advocating for the full force of the law to be brought upon those who offend a culture they don't care to understand. Or even taste.
The bill is expected to face stiff opposition from both conservative and further left-leaning ministers.
The Anarchist Party's, Peter Capaldi, voiced his disgust today saying, "First of fucking all, the Hawaiian pizza is cultural appropriation of Italy's national dish. Let's never ever forget that original sin you heretical bastards. So you know what, by all means open up the legal avenue to march your pineapple scented arse to prison. I support this bill."