A memo of "URGENT CHANGES" that the Biden administration will make, if they win the election, has been leaked to select news outlets.
The startling email lists all the key areas of American life which liberals are seeking to amend as soon as they take power, presumably after stealing the election from Donald Trump.
This outrageous set of proposals reveals the true intentions behind the Democrats and their power-hungry overlords like George Soros and OJ Simpson.
1. Change all clocks over to 'metric time'
Maddeningly, the Democrats want to change all clocks and time telling from the regular 24 hour system to the French metric system.
In America we use miles and gallons (the Imperial system of measurement) but the French (and the rest of the pathetic Europeans) use kilometres and litres (the Metric system).
If Biden wins in November we'll all be using a strange clock that breaks the days up into units of 100 instead of the good old fashioned 24 hours.
2. All prisoners allowed two 'Serve from Home' days a week
Just like some office workers are Working-From-Home during this pandemic; murderers, rapists, terrorists and pedophiles along with every other bad guy in jail will be allowed two 'Serve from Home' days a week.
We can't wait for the details of this one to emerge so in the meantime we suggest arming yourself.
3. First responders to pronounce ambulance the 'Ebonic way'
Instead of correcting people's grammar and language, the liberals are happy to kow-tow to the butchers of our proud American English. Starting the day of Biden's inauguration, all first responders (and even newsreaders) will be forced to say the word ambulance the 'Ebonic way' i.e. amb'lance.
9-1-1 dispatchers will not send an ambulance to you if you pronounce it the 'old, slave-master way.'
4. Teach the benefits of drugs alongside the dangers and let junior-school kids decide
You have to be on drugs to vote for the Democrats and they know it. That's why they will introduce a 'balanced drug syllabus' into every junior school.
They intend to present both the benefits and 'potential negative consequences' of Schedule 1 drug use to children and let them decide if they want to experiment.
Rumors are going around that some hard-left fanatics want samples in every class!
5. Introduce gender-neutral pronouns for pets
Apparently leftists are too dumb to tell if their hipster iguana is a boy or a girl. They will introduce a list of at least 150 gender pronouns that veterinarians will have to present before registering your pet.
And yes, this applies to livestock farmers too.
Apparently, if they see no use of anything besides male and female pronouns, the FBI will be sent in to check if you're harbouring any transphobia and transmitting it to your animals.
God save us. God save us all.