A suspected terrorist from Iran, en route to New York, was stopped and arrested at Dubai International airport after an entire nuclear warhead was found concealed within his modern, thick-soled 'chunky sneakers'.
Leaders from around the world are condemning the actions of the suspected Soleimani loyalist but also the fashion trends of millennials for enabling such contemporary terrorist plots and weaponry.
In a tweet by Vice President Mike Pence, millennials were blamed for their "irresponsible and vulgar actions and tastes".
The deadly but ingenious device was a quarter of the strength of the Hiroshima bomb according to an explosives expert.
"Everything within a 1.5km radius would have been killed in a flash, everything. Man, woman, child, Pokémon, everything. Can you imagine how devastated the millennials would have been if their Pokémon zoos were wiped out?"
Iran has not claimed responsibility for the attack but trade reports have shown an increase in 'chunky sneaker' imports since the start of the year.
The Iranian ambassador to the USA dismissed the link and instead condemned millennials and terrorists for the "general decline in peace, fashion and plastic straws".
Millennial International spokesperson refused to comment on the allegations because journalists had failed to address her by her preferred pronoun.
Her stubborn, attention-seeking and virtue signalling was described by UN Secretary-General António Guterres as, "Typical."
Persimmon Knopfles, a social media influencer and fashion forecaster, said the trend for ever chunkier shoe soles is accelerating, making the world a more dangerous place to live.
Unverified reports say that the derogatory phrase, Okay b**mer was written on the soles of the weaponised footwear.
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