In a fresh campaign pledge, the Tories have vowed to grant stop & search powers to pensioners and at the same time relieve overworked police.
Pensioners have reacted with overwhelming support for the move with many wishing it went further.
I tell you, I already know which rapscallions I'll be searching and spanking. Time to clean up this pub! - Barry from Wetherspoons
Someone FINALLY seeing some sense, I just wish we had the police tasers and judge's sentencing powers too. - Harriet from Wetherspoons
Decried as cynical electioneering by opposition parties, the Tories have shrugged off criticism saying that the complainers shouldn't be afraid if they have nothing to hide.
I for one welcome the chance to brush up on my bayonet drills. I will not allow this country to fall into the hands of scoundrels. - Nigel from Wetherspoons
It's remoaners I'd like to stop and search. Remoaners and the blacks. - Barry from Wetherspoons
The Queen, 117 years old, was rumoured to have punched the air in delight at the news but sulked for the rest of the day after her PR team advised her it was unbecoming for a monarch to roam the streets, shaking down anarchists from her carriage.
In a royal statement, she wished the rest of her generation happy hunting.
Comments