25 years after South Africa's first democratic elections, the old farmlands are growing racist cocaine once again.
When the original cocaine crops were cultivated in the 19th century, by early Voortrekkers, it was a very dark, almost black powder. But it didn't stay that way for very long. Initially grown as an oxen stimulant, the drug seeped into daily life to help farmers keep up with their farm hands. When its effects were amplified by the zeal of the early N.G. Kerk Sunday sermons, Sheriff Voortrekker, Piet Kokeina, declared it a holy medicine.
He instructed the cocaine farmers to dye the powder white "like angel gunpowder."
The recipe was perfected over the following two hundred years as it was passed around the globe from one sweaty palm to another.
Whether it was psychiatrists, entertainers or dictators, they couldn't get enough.
Freud prescribed it to his patients. Frank Sinatra once gambled for three months straight after a particularly potent dose. Edmund Hillary claimed that it motivated his Sherpas to climb Everest carrying twice as much luggage as before.
In its heyday South African cocaine was as strong as the US dollar and responsible for seducing some of the finest minds away from the gold mining industry.
Sadly, but not unexpectedly, it was used as a weapon in Apartheid-era South Africa where policemen would dip the ends of their sjamboks in cocaine before whipping protesters.
P.W. Botha personally oversaw delivery of crate-fulls of the so called mampara muesli - cocaine cut with addictive and harmful Aromat - to shebeens in the townships.
It took Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the TRC to finally put an end to mass cocaine production. Farmers were shamed off of the crop and onto humble harvests like mielies and pap.
But today the chalky devil has reared his head again and drags his nails down the geopolitical blackboard. Extremists and health terrorists have been secretly snapped working on their plots, stoking old fears and new strains.
Our undercover investigator passed on the photographs above and warned of a tsunami of Chinese-funded charlie about to hit black market shelves.
"One sniff is all it will take and you'll be hating interracial dance floors and colour TV's all over again. It's too late for me," she said before ripping off her nose and diving to the bottom of the Vaal dam.
If you or someone you know has, or thinks they have, come into contact with spine flakes, please let us know in the comments below.
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