Springbok coach, Rassie Erasmus, usually allows his men to make their favourite sex sounds in the scrum but for the Rugby World Cup final, they're pushing something new.
The rugby scrum has long been a place for physical displays of attrition but even more so, psychological warfare. Pundits put the All Blacks domination of the game for the last two decades down to their superior scrum smack-talk.
We have learnt, from a source at their final training session, that the Boks are planning on using these derisive remarks in the huddle:
1. Princess Di conspiracy theories including the one where they killed her.
2. Listing all the Brexit dates and extensions.
3. The Lord's prayer backwards.
4. Graphic sex stories involving the Queen.
5. Reminding the English of the weather they're going home to, regardless.
6. The phrase "Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself!" repeated over and over.
7. Step-by-step how to make a nice tea but adding milk before the water.
That sure is fighting talk - we can't wait to see the England team's reaction.
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