White House security have arrested a transgender terrorist who worked overnight to change all the White House rest rooms into trans toilets.
Officials said there were 'screams' and 'general pandemonium' at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue soon after the West Wing opened for business this morning.
White House staffers who had just finished their morning coffees were initially confused at the trans toilet signs but soon began to panic as reports from throughout the building revealed no toilet facilities had been left unchanged.
"I didn't know where to do drop my deuce," explained a tearful intern. "I felt ashamed but at least I wasn't the first to foul in the rose garden."
Chaos erupted at about 07:15 and civil servants could be seen defecating and urinating both inside and outside the White House through painful howls of humiliation and terror.
A very senior member of the Trump administration who has asked to remain anonymous, tried to run across the road to the nearest public rest room but didn't make it further than halfway down the White House lawn until they reportedly 'removed their trousers and excreted loudly whilst cursing the trans community'.
A transgender suspect was later discovered inside one of the toilets and swiftly arrested.
It is as yet unclear if President Trump was personally affected by this act of domestic terrorism but some unconfirmed reports detail 'yellow-tinged bed sheets' being removed from his bedroom.
Patriots have gathered outside the White House, some bringing flowers and cards of condolences, some simply stunned at the ability of this criminal to strike so easily and effectively at the nation's Seat of Power.
Police hope the sombre mood of tonight's vigil is not interrupted by any of the online supporters of the crime who have been tweeting and posting disgraceful and treasonous messages online, like "Yaaas queen!"
Our thoughts and prayers are with the President and his staffers at this time.
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