An asteroid headed for Earth will wipe out all life on the internet, say astronomers and soothsayers.
The Antarctic Space Observatory have announced the impending doom of the internet after tracking asteroid pWN3D for several weeks.
"It's as we feared," said a sciencetess. "The asteroid is headed straight for the internet. It's no longer a question of if but when. This is going to be more devastating than the DDoS attack that wiped out the dinosaurs, and there's no firewall on Earth that can stop it."
On November 5 at approximately 19h00, the asteroid is expected to smash through both Kaspersky and Norton internet security cordons and collide with the lower half of the dark web commonly known as pornpoise.net
The dark web will be instantly obliterated and the resulting tsunami of aquatic mammal related pornography will flood the rest of the internet within hours, eventually drowning it in dirty, illegal detritus.
Many web surfers and cyberspace cosmonauts are using the little time they have left to share stories and post videos of the wasted hours they spent online.
I don't know if i will remember how to eat again if there aren't at least 300,000 people watching me.
Others reacted with revulsion at the notion of having to communicate and pass the time with people IRL:
I mean, actually speak face-to-face with people? Ugh, the meatspace is so gross. I wish that asteroid would kill me too. #metoo #nothanks #offended
Some optimistic network specialists believe that what is left of the world wide web may be enough to slowly rebuild the internet or at least piece together one final meme, albeit NSFW.
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