A police source has revealed the shocking news that one of Jeremy Corbyn's sons has been caught on CCTV selling drugs to Tory rebels before last week's Brexit votes in parliament.
In what could explain their betrayal of government, a number of Tory rebels have come forward to confess that they may not have been completely sober during the all-important votes last week.
Some of the rebels claim to having been groomed by the leader of the opposition's loinfruit in the months leading up to the vote.
"At first i didn't know it was one of Jeremy's sons. I thought he was just a Westminster intern," claimed one of the victims. "At after work drinks he'd always let a select few of us know that he had some 'really good snuff' and if we wanted to try it. I admit, curiosity got the better of me. Before I knew it, I was hooked on all these powerful Class A's."
Asked whether she thought the drug dealing was calculated to coincide with the Benn Bill vote last Wednesday, the Tory rebel said, "I can only assume so since police tell me that they found LSD in my system, and, an-and, it was supposed to be nothing more than Tory Toppers [a cocktail of cocaine, poppers and Margaret Thatcher's ashes]."
The LSD was traced back to Venezuela and the aggressively Socialist regime of Nicolás Maduro. Fears are growing that the Venezuelan government has resorted to mass-scale drug dealing to make up for the shortfall in oil revenues. It also provides further proof of a partnership between the authoritarian party and Corbyn who has never denied kissing him at the state funeral of Hugo Chavez in 2013.
Police sources say footage is being reviewed at the moment to confirm or deny claims but have agreed not to arrest the party members as "they've already been through enough."
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