COVER-UP: JFK had affair with Roswell alien!

The CIA are due to declassify documents revealing the illicit affair JFK had with an alien woman from the UFO crash landing at Roswell in 1947.

Journalists and UFOlogists petitioned the CIA using the Freedom of Information act to reveal the classified love letters, photographs and home-made video tape footage of the pair's interstellar relationship.

Campaign leader, Bob Izher, is convinced the information, once revealed, will change the world as we know it.

"In the UFO community it's common knowledge. We've long suspected that JFK knew about extraterrestrials visiting Earth and worked with them to win the election. He was one of the first officials informed about Roswell [UFO crash landing] and visited the aliens recovered from the site. He interviewed them at Area 51 and soon fell head over heels for the female one. He was always a hound dog. But i think Jackie grew suspicious about his trips to the military base and when she and others in the administration learnt about his intentions to come out about his new space wife and their plans to use alien technology to solve some of the world's biggest problems, well, those people who wanted power didn't like that one bit. They knew it meant they would lose their spots at the top so they had him bumped off. I think the world needs to know this. We, the people, need to know the truth. And also see if they made sex tapes and stuff."

UFO sighting reports to Nevada police have increased dramatically in the week since the announcement leading many to believe the extraterrestrials are nervous about the licentious nature of the files and are planning an announcement of their own to manage any possible embarrassment of their queen.