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Prince Andrew defends friendship with Croydon Cat Killer

In a second TV interview, called for by Prince Andrew, he has tried to distance himself from the Croydon Cat Killer's crimes whilst maintaining that he still finds their friendship 'of great value'.


"I often suffer from overdoses. In the Falklands war it was adrenaline, in social situations it's honour. Thus i find it very difficult to feel shame, as it were." offered the Prince after being asked why he did not end his friendship with a known animal abuser and murderer.

Prince Andrew caught with Pussy Grabber AKA Croydon Cat Killer (left)

Prince Andrew, who has known the feline foe for twenty years, has said that he still admires him for the business opportunities he provided and hunting tips.


"I knew who and what the Croydon Cat Killer was, if you see what i mean, but i simply could not find a way to end our friendship without coming across as a chicken, and so i put it off indefinitely."


When pressed on the obvious goings on at the Croydon Cat Killer's mansion, the Prince said he never personally joined the killer on his night prowls and didn't think anything 'unbecoming' was afoot in his home full of stuffed cats' heads.


The Party Prince who never sweats said his interactions with the cats were very short and formal and didn't include decapitation, to his recollection.


"Cats were coming and going through that house all the time and it felt more like an animal orgy than a torture chamber. Not that I took part in either of those things... to my knowledge."


Allegations by a tabby from west London contradict everything the Prince tried to dispel in the interview. According to the victim, the Prince partied with her, took catnip and engaged in semi-royal sex.


The Prince rebuffed these allegations by showing his diary from the date in question which showed His Royal Highness penciled in to dine at a popular dog-meat pizzeria in Seoul for a children's party.


When asked to categorically deny ever having killed or sexually abused any cats the Prince said, "Not to put too fine a point on it but sex to me is a positive act and i recall my positive acts, especially with animals."


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