A former Buckingham Palace chambermaid has revealed that the Queen of England, and many other royals, maintain exemplary toilet bowl etiquette by shitting sidesaddle.
The chambermaid, who has asked to remain anonymous, dropped the dirt on the royals explaining that, "They believe it is dignified and proper to sit with both legs over one side of the bowl when shitting."
The inside poop scoop has many royal fans wondering how the chambermaid was allowed to witness such damning behaviour.
When pressed, she said, "I would sometimes be cleaning in the bathroom and Her Majesty would burst in with her stockings already down to her knees in a furious, yet gallant, shuffle. Then she would assume the position on the bowl in the long-forgotten sidesaddle (pose) and maintain it throughout the squirts and spurts. Sometimes I did see her in the relatively modern duchess slant, with legs together and angled to one side. You won't find a more classy shitter."
Amazingly, the chambermaid was allowed to stay in the room whilst the Queen used the porcelain throne.
"Oh its just like any other royal activity, so long as you don't look her in the eye and keep your head bowed, it's as if you're not even there. She might ask you to wipe her and flush after she leaves but that would mean acknowledging our presence, so it's assumed and we do it by default."
The majestic tradition dates back to Tudor times when royals and aristocrats would shit from their horses, mid-hunt, the very reason sidesaddle was invented.
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