The NRA (National Rifle Association) and Big Pharma have joined forces to develop the latest range in COVID-19 killing products including the new FeverDream 2020, a thermometer and handgun in one.
The FeverDream 2020 has the latest, state-of-the-art thermal reading technology. It also packs half a dozen 9mm bullets.
According to the sales brochure, it's so easy "a blind child could operate one".
"Simply load the magazine, extend the FeverDream 2020 to the patient's forehead and the thermo-gun device will gauge their temperature and automatically fire a single round into the skull if they are deemed to be above the healthy temperature. It's that simple. No virus. No risk to society."
President Trump, in a tweet this weekend, applauded the innovation and urged for its widespread usage.
"This is a tremendous AMERICAN invention. A lot of people are saying this could be the AK47 of vaccines! The only thing that can stop a bad virus is a good guy with a thermo-gun. If we can get this out to every household before the summer, we can totally wipe out the virus. The China virus."
The FeverDream 2020 has begun taking commercial orders with the highest demand so far, coming from hospitals and schools. It will be available to the public at $89.99 this summer from all good gun shops and pharmacies.