BREAKING: Trump donating 500 nukes to Australia "for them to fight fire with FIRE!"

He tweeted that the USA would be donating 500 nuclear weapons to Australia for it to obliterate the bush fires once and for all.

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Top 20 memes of the last 20 years - as used by Trump

20 of the best memes as used by Trump over the last 20 years.

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Japanese funeral craze: ENTOMBED in AMBER!

Japan's aging population is fueling a new trend in the alternative burial method of entombing the body in amber for millions of years.

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RED CARD: Parents send death threats to primary school VAR ref.

The seven year old boy will not be allowed to play in the following two games and will be forced to pay a fine of £300.

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Talking with your mouth full linked to higher IQ

Talking with your mouth full of food is actually an example of cerebral persistence over lower-level physiological functions.

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Has Elon Musk gone too far with his victory tweet?

The move has left paedophile fans of the tech entrepreneur hurt and dismayed that he is using their sexual orientation in a pejorative way.

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BREAKING: Kanye West to host church service on International Space Station

Following the popularity of his earth-based church gatherings, Kanye West has announced plans to host a Sunday Service on board the ISS

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QUEEN SHITS SIDESADDLE

A former chambermaid has revealed that the Queen, and many other royals, maintain exemplary toilet bowl etiquette by shitting sidesaddle.

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Priyanka Chopra posts masturbation criteria for pervs lurking on her profile

"If my husband has to abide by these rules, to be able to sneak a snake shake whilst watching me ignore him, then so will all of you!"

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Prince Andrew defends friendship with Croydon Cat Killer

"I often suffer from overdoses. In the Falklands war it was adrenaline, in social situations it's honour. I stand by my friends!"

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John Lewis ad rewrites GOT origins

John Lewis's new Christmas ad revealed to be an unofficial prequel to the Game of Thrones series which ended with Edgar getting revenge

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HYPOCRITES: Green energy execs caught eating meat

Clean energy provider, CompostCo, faced backlash and embarrassment today after photos emerged of their executive team eating red meat & milk

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BREAKING: Tories pledge to extend 'stop & search' powers to pensioners

In a fresh campaign pledge, the Tories have vowed to grant stop & search powers to pensioners and at the same time relieve overworked police

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NEW: Google launches cobalt-free smartphone

Making good on their company motto to "Be less evil", the tech giant is replacing all future smartphone lines with the Paper Phone.

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LEAKED: The 5 taunts England will be whispering in the scrum against the Springboks

Eddie Jones usually instructs his men to "grunt politely, like gentlemen" when engaged in the scrum but for the final he has some surprises.

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LEAKED: Springboks to whisper Princess Di conspiracy theories in the scrum

Rassie Erasmus usually allows his men to make their favourite sex sounds in the scrum but for the World Cup final, they're experimenting.

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'NOT IF BUT WHEN' doomsday asteroid will destroy internet!

On November 5 at approximately 19h00, the asteroid is expected to collide with the lower half of the dark web also known as pornpoise.net

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WAR! Trump declares war on butterfly on the other side of the world causing hurricanes!

"Everybody knows this butterfly causes hurricanes here in America when it flaps its wings in China, okay"

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Loud ambulance siren startles woman to death

A pedestrian in London was startled to death when a passing ambulance turned its siren on as it passed her.

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EXCLUSIVE: South African farmers growing apartheid cocaine again!

25 years after South Africa's first democratic elections, the old farmlands are growing racist cocaine once again.

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